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Friday, December 31, 2010

my.opera.com

Happy New Years!! Well pre-new years anyway :)

2010 is nearly over and thank god for that!! 

I am ready to see the new year in, fresh with opportunities and hope. I have lots I want to accomplish in the new year, and the list is pretty endless but my main ones are these:

1. Live - enjoy each moment and make some memories
2. Get outside, spend some time being active
3. Stop swearing. 

So I think I can achieve these 3 things. Anything extra is a bonus!


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Of Shamanic/Celtic Descent

jeffreymeyer.org

I have always known that I have been given 'the gift'. As a little girl I used to be scared that I made bad things happen, not realising that I was seeing a premonition of what was to come. I have been able to feel other peoples energy, and at times been drained from the negative ones and uplifted by the positive ones. I believe I am empathic, and know my journey in life is to help people. Whether this be through counselling, or what ever the world throws at me. 

But I also know that I have a lot to learn. There is a lot more to my journey than where I am now, having only dipped my fingers into a vast ocean. Because I have never thought I had anyone around me to teach me, I learn things as they come, having faith that I will somehow know the way. All this has really changed in the last few weeks.

I went to visit my aunt the other day. I dont see her often, maybe a few times a year. But on this visit she was telling me how it is a family gift, and strongest in the eldest child of each family. I am the oldest grandchild and the oldest and biologically only of my father. He is of Indian and Irish decent. It comes from his dad's side mainly (Indian), and has been a part of our family forever. Last night I learnt that my granddad has the gift also. He can see and communicate with the spirits. This is all a revelation to me. 

Anyway the last few nights I have been feeling very unsettled. I have been having dark (violent) thoughts, which if you know me, is completely out of character. I have also been hearing my name called, as well as something startling me and flicking my ears and back to wake me up. By yesterday afternoon I had had enough and called my aunt. I needed help. It wasnt something I had had to deal with before. Hubby wouldn't believe me if I told him, and who else could I turn to? 

So I dropped in there and we chatted. She showed me ways to protect myself, to guard my home and family, and find ways to receive the messages, but keep the black out. While we were chatting I learnt a few other things. I have a dream of blue crystal caves that resonate from my childhood. I feared this place. In my dreams I carried my father through in a glass coffin. I also have gone into deep meditations and gone to a cave on the side of a cliff, this cave was in the shape of an animal, with its teeth baring at front. During conversations I found my Aunt knew of these places. Apparently the blue crystal cave is a family sacred spot, and the animal cave is to do with our guides. These places have been significant dreams to me, and now I understand. But even more, it has provided me with proof that this is real. Its not us playing around anymore. That what I was feeling with this entity was real, there was something that was making me uncomfortable.

So last night I calmed myself, washed myself with salt and then laid down projecting my white pyramid. And do you know what, I finally slept. I had the most beautiful sleep. 

I know I still have so much to learn, but maybe Im getting there.

Family Xmas Traditions

free animated christmas cards -snowman

Its beginning to feel a lot like Christmas....


I really believe that having traditions for certain times of the year makes everything feel more festive. You feel like its xmas because you are doing certain things. So part of my xmas planning this year was to find 5 traditions that will be part of our family. So far I have come up with these:



  • A family Photo Xmas card. Dressed to the 9's, makeup & hair done. A real glamour shot
  • A Christmas Eve party. We had this last year, and I want to keep up the tradition
  • Buy all who sleep at the house match PJ's for Xmas Eve
  • Dave & I to buy a small gift each to open on Xmas Eve together while we have a glass of wine or cider
  • .......Im still trying to think of a 5th one
These will have to be started from next year...though we will still be having a Xmas Eve party. 

I also want to be prepared by December 1st next year. Which means Menus planned and Xmas cake made. All presents bought and wrapped. Any food items or drink items that can be purchased ahead of time done or made early done. I want to sit back and enjoy next year. Plus we will hopefully be flitting off to New Zealand.

This year has been a balls up. The few hundred that I gathered we would have will have to be put towards the car, so its all just not going to happen. We can enjoy the festive season though, and enjoy everyones company.

But not to worry, soon christmas will be here, then gone. New Years will come with all its festivities, and then my Bday is just around the corner. I am looking forward to being another year older and wiser...well I can keep dreaming anyway :)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Etiquettes 101 - The basics

Found a great website, had a listing of the go to's.




I struggle a lot with speaking also, so Voice training is something I want to seriously consider. How someone speaks can change how people look at them. 

Four essentials of voice  - ur essentials: diction, clarity, intonation and conviction

Another woe is me post.....

Ok so we are only a week out from xmas and what happens???? well, our car has gone kaput. So somehow we are going to have to get the money together to still do xmas, but also get the car fixed. Such is life I suppose. Still sux tho.

But anyway enough of crap.

We are having some awesome storms here lately. Massive rippers. We have another one coming now, I can feel all the tension in the air, it makes my eyes and head ache. We have a 25th to go to tonite, so hopefully it dies down soon.

Mr D has been his grumpy self the last two days. He is at this moment asleep. His bi-polar is playing up and he is not sleeping at night. Doing very well sleeping during the day though. Its driving me nuts. Im going to let him sleep though, hopefully he'll wake up in a better mood. I am starting to wonder though how much of a good idea it was for him to give up the meds. It hasnt helped us in the way we thought it would. He says that he doesnt feel like he in a fog anymore, but it sure as hell isnt helping with moodiness, aggression and sleeping. Plus Im more than a lil worried the panic attacks will start again. The spending is definitely starting again. Grrr....maybe he'll be able to sort his shit out. At the moment he has no interest in trying though.

With me, well Im getting more than a little upset about the baby and weight stuff. I know I have to lose weight to have a baby, but its so freaking difficult. Especially having 4 other adults in the house that eat so much crap.  And Im so sick of hearing that I shouldnt diet, I should just eat healthy. Well news flash, thats obviously not working. I put 10kgs on every year trying to just eat 'healthy'. The doctor has spoken about weight loss surgery, and part of me really wants to do it, another part has no interest in it, and is so disgusted in myself about having to consider it. And I know so many of my problems will go if I can just even lose 10kg. Though I really want to lose 40-50.

Our goal this week was to start a Michael Thurman-ish type diet. Low car broken down into 5 meals, with 45 mins exercise daily and 3 Litres of water. We havent gotten anywhere close to that. It doesnt help that xmas is upon us. But we are both feeling the pressure of his mum arriving on Friday. They go on so much about D's weight. He feels so much pressure from them, and when they leave I am left with the consequences. I am dreading when she leaves this time. We go through a month of him over dramatising everything until I snap and tell him to get over it. I dont think we could survive living closer to her.

We also have to set up the office this week into a 4th bedroom. We will move the computer out and into probably our room, and put a bed in here. Thankfully it means that we will actually clean out the office. It is greatly in need. We have been wanting to rearrange in here anyway. After new years will be our chance. I might try to pic up another desk so that we can put both in here. D is starting his own blog now, and spending more time on his website, and I have mine and the 3 websites, plus uni. So definitely time to make room.

I have been thinking of making a second website, and doing more home deco/organisation. But Im guessing that will come together later if I need it to. The plan is to have two websites, one for organisation, and one for etiquette and grooming. The organisation one, for homes, the etiquette ones for people like me. Basically my journey from crap to fab. Though I could probably put that into this one. I just would like to eventually do talks and stuff on it. Probably best to put on here, keep things simple.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Ive been slack

Its been a fortnight or so since I last posted...things have been stressful.

So I am back at uni since the end of November, about the same time as my parents and sister moved in. eeek. Things are going ok so far, but its hard not to notice how terribly he treats them. Its super sad but super true. Its also quite obvious that he is more than content to live wherever and let mum pay the bills out of her carers allowance and drink all day and tinker down at his shed. I am at that stage where I dont say anything. After all these years she has stayed married to him, her choice. But its definitely not the life I expected from her. It makes me appreciate my life so much more.

Hubby had his post op appointment this week. He is to have another operation in the new year. Hopefully that will be the last and he will be all healed. In the mean time we have to get as healthy as possible. He is also having issues at work, so Im a bit afraid that he will either lose his job, or he will get another and then lose it because he will have to go in for the operation.

My work is pretty precarious also. Im waiting for the day when I am told the doors will be closing, I don't think its too far away.

So a quick overview of the last few weeks. Life would be so much easier if only........