because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer

1.           How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 25
 2.          Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying
3.          If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Good question
 4.          When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? yes
5.          What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? The need for money
6.          If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Helping people – being bossy
 7.          Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? settling
8.          If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? No idea
 9.          To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? I thought my choice, but its been more go with the flow.
10.      Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right thing
11.       You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? Stick up for her
 12.       If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Be confident, you deserve the best
 13.       Would you break the law to save a loved one? yes
 14.      Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? yes
 15.       What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Fold towels
 16.       How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? I have my own desires
  17.       What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Own my own business. Confidence and the need for security
 18.       Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? My weight, fear, 
 19.       If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Canada because it is appealing
 20.      Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? Yes, no but it helps with frustration
 21.       Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Worried genius
22.      Why are you, you? 
 23.      Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I believe so
 24.      Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? A good friend moving away
25.      What are you most grateful for? My husband, and my life
 26.      Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Not be able to make new ones
27.      Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? no
 28.      Has your greatest fear ever come true? Yes  and no – no security but Ive never lost my husband or family
 29.      Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? Yes it made me who I am today
 30.      What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? Weekend holidays with nan and pop. They were carefree
 31.       At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? I don’t think I have, maybe the week dave was down. Ive never felt as good as that week. But I know that it can be better
 32.      If not now, then when? I need to learn this one
 33.      If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? security
  34.      Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? no
 35.      Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because they also support ignorance
 36.      Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? no
 37.      If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? no
 38.      Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work that I enjoy
 39.      Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Everyday is the same
 40.     When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? never
 41.      If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? I would visit my mum and sister, and go home to my husband
 42.      Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? no
  43.      What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Enjoying each and every moment
 44.     When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? There never is a time
 45.      If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because we learn that they hurt
 46.      What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? nothing
 47.      When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? I concentrate on it often
 48.      What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love my husband, I show him always
  49.      In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? no
 50.      Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I let outside pressures make them.

Health and Fitness Challenge

Twitter: mobylovescoffee
Age:29 (in a few days)
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Also include your challenge goals in terms of your:

My non- scale victory - my boardies...I want to fit in them before Summer is over, I don't want to fit in them at all next year :)


My goals with exercise is 15 min walk each day, 45 min exercise vid or wiifit x3 per week


Keep calories under 1600, keep track via my fitness pal

Starting Weight: way too much..lets just say +50 for now

Target Challenge Weight Loss: 15kg

2012 and all it's promises...

Well here we are very near the end of the year and 2012 is holding so much hope. There is so much to be done next year, and I don't want an ordinary year. I want to be busy, I want to feel like we are climbing out of the rut we are in. So many aspects of our lives need to be improved on, and I know where to start, I know how to start, and HAVE started. I just need to keep on keeping on.

Number 1....as everyone knows, my weight. I have seen a dietician this year, as well as exercise physiologist, it has to come down. Exercise is required daily, 3 times a week minimum, and food needs to be cleaned up. No more dairy, very little carbs, many fruits, veg and some protein. (No I am not including real food in my carb count, as long as I eat all of the fruit, bought juices are out)

Number 2... work on our fertility. D is giving up smoking, and he is in on this health kick. It's time to kick infertility to the curb and claim our baby.

Number 3... money. D needs a job, I need a secure full time one. This obviously is a priority. We then have to focus on paying out debt and starting to put money away. Dave Ramsay is going to be my friend this year, he just doesn't know it yet.

Number 4... working on creating at home businesses. We are under no illusion that this will be easy, or that it will be only one. D and I both want to work from home. We want babies in the next year or two and this will be the best way. D is also bi-polar and doesn't get along well with people, this would probably give us more security than him working for someone else. So we will be focusing on Safe Cycling Australia, Sharp Chic, A Fashionable Marriage and Sharp Organising. Somewhere in all of this we will derive an income sufficient enough to be stay at home workers.

Number 5... yes there is more! D and I both need careers. We need to feel like we are contributing to the world, by working on Number 4 and 3, this could happen.

Number 6... I want to socialise and go out more. I don't want to feel that the year has flown by and we have nothing to show for it. I want to go out for dinners, weekends away and exploring our city. I want to meet new people, entertain and hold dinner parties. I want to be social.

Number 7... I want to set my home up. I want it to exude elegance, to be clean, tidy and people to walk in and think 'these people have it together'. I don't like walking in and seeing the mish mash that is our house. I want it to have style, grace, and character. I will be blogging about the changes we make, however slowly it may take us.

Number 8.. .I want to work on me. Not only do I need to lose the weight, but I want to change the way I present myself. In no way and I saying that I wish to change me...just how I present myself to the world. I am doing a workshop hopefully soon to learn basics of makeup and haircare. Next on the agenda is clothing and manners. I am taking the challenge not to swear and this will start from tomorrow night when my MIL arrives.

Number 9...I am committing to blogging. I will have 4 sites up and going. This is going to be a HUGE Task. The plan is one blog post for each blog a week, 2 for the personal blog. This personal blog will also be a record of my challenges, my progress against my goals and my accountability. I will be adding a page specifically to hold these goals and my progress markers.

Good luck to me and good luck to 2012 and all the hope that I lay on it.

love
Moby

So as always...its been awhile

Things have been going more than crazy lately. I have been making up hours at work to pay for 10 days off at xmas...so I've got 4 days left :( Christmas has been okay, more than a little dull. It just doesnt seem as magical as it did when I was younger. I think not having kids around helps to make it better.

D finished up work the Thursday before xmas, so things are pretty stressful. He has a job interview tomorrow, so I am crossing all fingers and toes that he gets it. We can survive on just one wage :(. That I have to say is one of the goals for next year, get to a point that we can exist on only one wage. Well hopefully.

well anyway fingers crossed it all turns out. Im ready for stuff to go right for a change. We start a detox tomorrow, well 2 days of it. D's mum gets here on Saturday arvo and will be here the night. Then I am back to work on the 3rd. Not really much has been done, but I will have to finish cleaning the house tomorrow, then I need to put stuff on ebay, finish fixing the study computer, get a new diary and then get ready for another yeah of study, craziness and job hunting. I am hoping a full time job is around the corner, Im not liking the travelling to work or the instability. 2012 has to be a year of stability, losing weight and getting my baby. I need to feel like Im getting somewhere in life, at the moment I feel like Im pretty stuck.

What do I want out of life?

I want children, I would prefer two, but 1 will do me. I want to experience pregnancy and childbirth (yes I am a freak). I want to experience being a mother and I so badly want to make my husband a father. He would be a wonderful one, and my heartbreaks when I see him with the kids.

I want to have a career I enjoy, working independently for myself. I dont necessarily want to work from home, but as long as I work for myself
I want to work in any field pretty much. But I want to find my passion.

I want to earn good money to have the things that I want. I am not completely material, but I want a comfortable life for my family.

I want to be challenged, and educated, I want to finish a uni degree. 1st step tho is to finish my diploma.

I want to be healthy and fit. I want to eat only healthy organic food, and run a 10km fun run. I want my children to grow up without body or food issues.

I want to be fasting at least twice a year, once in autumn and once in spring.

I want to have a loving healthy relationship with my hubby. (well continue to have the good relationship we have now)

Im sure there is more...but thats what I hope for today

Getting Slack

I always have so many ideas. New adventures, now ventures and always need to write stacks down to get it off my mind. Im getting nowhere tho. With all of this stuff that pours out, I never get about to doing everything I need to do. So I am slowly putting the plans and timeframes in place.

Here are the things I need to do

Work out what my ideal life is.
 - what do I want out of life?

Next Projects:
Narrow down my ideas
Select a set few
Organise a timeframe as to when I want them done by
Get together a plan.
STICK TO THE PLAN

I think D and I need another computer. We only have the one, so if he is on it, I dont get the chance.

Day 11 - A letter of Appreciation

To my darling hubby,

There is so much about you I absolutely love and adore. So many things that you do, from the very little to the massive things that I appreciate so very much.

When I first met you, you made me smile and laugh, and changed my world, I am such a different person to who I would have been without you.

....

haha yeah right, Im not putting this all here

seeya!!!!

Day 9 - Tackle Procrastination

1. Identify something you’ve been putting off in the past week/month/years.
   • I have been procrastinating about losing weight, for the last few years
2. Answer this question: Why am I procrastinating on this?
• Why do I procrastinate about this? Its too hard....Im trying to find the easy way out instead of putting the effort into it, its something I do with everything

Key Motivations

Feel better about myself - feel alive again

Health

Baby

Marriage

Action Plan

Diet - Cut out the crap

Exercise - Walking - Bike

Character Board #30BBM Day 5

#30BBM Day 4

How did I go today? Did I do my random act of kindness..have u been sitting at the edge of your seat waiting to find out?

well I did...sort of.

There is a woman at work who irritates everyone, and most people ignore her. I made a point today to say hello and involve her in the conversations. Took the time out to really listen to what she had to say. Yes she frustrates people, but it didnt take much to listen.

#30BBM Day 4

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” – Plato
“Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.” – Lou Holtz
“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.” – The Knights of Pythagoras

On a scale of 1-10, how kind do you think you are?

On a scale of 1-10 I think Im probably a 7. I still need work, but I think I am mostly very kind. I go out of my way to help people, and make them feel better. I am happy to help someone cross a street, carry a bag, or help an old lady down the street, or simply offer a smile. There are days tho that Im not, and I am embarassed that I do have these days. 

Your Task: Be Kind Today

Imagine you’re standing before a room that’s bursting with warm, golden light. The light is so bright that you can see it bursting through every opening, every nook and cranny from inside the room to the world. It’s literally overpowering everything in your surroundings.

As you walk up to the door, you see the word “Kindness” written on it. This is when you realize this is a room filled with pure, sheer, unadulterated kind energy.

Your task today:

1. Step into the room.
   • Imagine yourself being basked, from head to toe, in the pure, kind energy. The light is so powerful that it penetrates into your body and reaches into the core of your heart.
   • As it does that, it somehow unlocks something inside you, deep in your soul. Suddenly, a strong beam of light starts to shine from inside your heart, first illuminating your whole body, and bursting into the world out there.
   • This occurs for a good 5-10 seconds, before the light fades away. You’re now radiating a positive glow; an luminescent aura that. There’s no doubt about it – you’re now a different person from before you stepped inside. You’re now filled with kindness, inside and out. Every fiber of your being, every cell in your body, is now filled with pure, kind energy.
2. Today, you are a beacon of kindness. Exemplify kindness in everything you do, every thought you have, every action you take. This means…
• Being kind to everyone you see.
• Going out of your usual zone to help others.
• Smiling at strangers, even they aren’t smiling at you first.
• Saying hi / Greeting everyone you see.
• Doing something special for someone / others, without reason.
• Loving others as if they were you.

Generally I am kind, I will smile at strangers, greet them hi if I catch their eye. Today I made the decision to liven up my new work group. They were very quiet and kept to themselves. I decided to create a nice atmosphere, and start getting some conversations happening, and just get everyone chatting. It was a success, I had a great day. Happily I did this before I read this post. So tomorrows mission, to keep this up, but find something nice to do for someone else :)

Grounding

I am struggling at the moment with a bit of the blues...I think all the stress lately with money, fertility, Granddad's op and the stuff with Dave has brought me down a little.

I need to get my feet in the ocean or my hands in the earth and draw a bit of energy. I am thinking of getting hubby to join me Friday arvo in Wynnum for some fish and chips near the ocean. But until then, here is a bit of a grounding exercise. Its amazing that I know when I need to get back to nature. I can feel when I havent grounded enough, when energy just isnt right. And even more amazing that we can live a lifestyle where our bare feet rarely touch the soil.

Notice the soles of your feet, your toes, in-between your toes, the top of your feet, the back of your ankle.

Do they feel hot? or cold? Do they hurt? Are they numb? Do you feel your blood circulating through them? Are they feeling tired?

Don't judge how they feel - just notice how they feel. Wiggle your toes. How does that feel?

Once you have a made a strong connection with your feet you may then move your attention upwards to your ankle... then switch focus to your lower legs, onto your knee caps, behind your knees, your thighs, and so on.

Keep reminding yourself not to rush.

Allow yourself to breathe throughout the scanning process, especially as you come to any areas of discomfort (stressed muscles, soreness, etc.) or at any spot that feels like there may be an energy block.

Once you have moved through your torso and up to your neck, drop back down to your fingertips, move your attention to the hands, up your arms and shoulders, returning your attention once again to your neck before finishing up with your focus on face and scalp. 

from about.co

#30BBM Day 3

Your Task: Identify Your Ideal Self

What is my ideal self like? 

Traits would I possess? I would be patient, caring, loving. Motivated and full of energy and life. I would be someone people liked being around. I would be fun loving, a little carefree, but still have everything done. I would be healthy and dedicated to creating a healthy life for me and my family, I would be DEDICATED. I would exude energy and light, and be like the perfect earth mother. 

I would be non-judgemental! accepting peoples personality and accepting that I deem as the right conduct in a situation is what "I" would like, not everyone. 

I would be elegant, well spoken (no f or c-bombs here my friend) and just a little bit funky, saying yes to the odd leather jacket and skin tight jeans. I would also be willing to drop all the graces for a day of fun with hubby camping, hiking, or trailbike riding. 

Gosh I think I want to much. I think mainly I want to be the best person I can be, kind, generous and loving, but making sure I include me in all of that. 

I would rate this as a 10/10 for my ideal self. 

Small steps today that can work towards this.

Stop swearing. (that might just do me in)

learn to breathe, take my time, think about my reactions

enjoy a bit of life

#30BBM Day 2

Your Task: Understand Your Negative Traits

3 traits I really want to work on this month. 

 - Being Lazy  - Impatience  - Procrastination

I think I am lazy because I keep making plans and organise stuff and never follow through. I dont finish projects (well not all) and I have so many ideas constantly running through my head and no time to really devote to them. I spend so much time procrastinating and just feeling like I cant be bothered, that I dont get really far. This sort of ties in both laziness and procrastination. I really want to get into a routine and get things completed.

I want to change these traits because I dont want to keep having left over stuff hanging over my head. I also dont want to feel the failure constantly thinking 'if only I had done that'. 

My baby steps for the month. To finish a few projects. Finish mum paperwork, finalise at least one website, and stick to the 30 day program.

I think I am impatient because its more than apparent I am. I dont like dallying around, I like everything to run on time, and I dont like time wasters. This would all be fine if I expected the same from myself, unfortunately I dont. I also dont want to keep having these high expectations of people. Where it doesnt really affect me, I need to let go and just enjoy the ride.

My baby steps to combat this, is just remain open to the issue, and keep to my schedule. Ensure everyone has clear understanding of what I am wanting, and as long as it doesnt affect me negatively, just take a moment and breathe. 

#30BBM Day 1

ok so today is day 1 of the 30 days to Be a better me from The Excellence Blog. I absolutely love Celestine Chua's blog, and I think this could be a little interesting..so here goes:

If you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (in terms of your personality), how much would you rate yourself? Would you give yourself a 1? Would you give yourself a 10? A 3? A 5? A 7?

• Id give myself a 5

Why did you give yourself the score in Q1?

• I gave myself a 5 because I have learnt a lot over the last few years. I guess its from growing up but also from seeing traits in myself in others that I didnt like
• I still have  long way to go

Now, write down 5-7 traits about yourself you want to work on.

• Impatience. I am very impatient, I expect things to be done on my time
• I procrastinate. I never want to do the hard work
• I always look for the easy way out, this is no longer acceptable to me, I want things done properly
• I can be lazy, another unacceptable trait
• I want to be able to control my emotions better
• I dont want to feel weak anymore. this is a confidence thing. 
• I let people intimidate me...I dont want anyone to intimidate me. I need to learn to be strong when I am uncomfortable
• I whine...stop whining!!

Day 1 Reflection for 30BBM

For each 30BBM task, we’ll have a quick reflection session. This is to identify and collect our learnings and reflections, rather than just do the task for the sake of doing it.

Things I learnt today - that Im a sucker, but I do love my hubby. I have days where I think, why the hell do I do this, but theres days like today that I know why. It so many ways I am so strong, and I love that strength. I love that I am willing to take on the world when I need to, and I love that I will fight for what I want, and for the people I love. I also learnt today that I whinge too much...hmm suck it up bucko!

Aspergers - BiPolar

thoughts??

We are starting to lean towards Aspergers...it's all starting to drive us both nuts. We want a real diagnosis, concrete treatment path and how we are to move forward.

A few years ago after a crisis, D and I went to the doc asking for help. He jumped on a mental health website, did a bit of research and wondered if he had Bi-Polar, the pysch said yep, sounds good, thats it. Well honestly after 4 years, we beg to differ. It all doesnt add up. I love my hubby, but there are things that just aren't quite right. Things I take for granted as being 'normal' and what people should be doing, he just doesnt get. Social 'Norms' mean nothing in my household. Spoke to his mum today to get a background on his childhood, and it is looking more and more likely that we are looking at Aspergers. So next on our agenda...learning more..

Friends, Loyalty and finally growing up

A good friend of mine just ended a bad relationship, and curiously her sister has remained friends with the ex, even going out to pubs with them. It has me thinking...Is this socially acceptable, Morally, or even against some code of sisterly conduct?

My lil sister and I are very close, there is no way I would ever show her this much disrespect, on the account of me wanting to have a good time. If I knew that my sister exaggerated a little, but it was still a volatile situation, lil sis still wins. So what has happened in this situation?

As a sister there is really no bond like it. I can fight with her, disagree, and debate to our hearts content, but we love each other. We have each others back and beware anyone who tries to hurt her.

Ok so this is my reasoning basically is disrepectful, its disloyal and frankly just plain wrong.

Ok so theres my completely crap post, completely unformatted, unedited and needing a whole lot more structure.

ciao

The Queensland Floods January 2011

While the last week has been one of the most harrowing for Queensland, it has also been one of the most incredible. Not in the 'ooh how cool' way, but just because its something that will leave a lasting impression for life.

Monday 10th, got home from work - heard about the devastation in Toowoomba, and inland flood surge destroyed streets and killed many people. We went and picked up my cousin and her kids from Karalee, we got a message that Karalee was to be evacuated.

Tuesday 11th - I stayed home. Gathered I wanted to know what was going to happen, we were expecting this water to travel to Ipswich. 

Wednesday 12th - Flooding in Ipswich was expected about 2pm. We were not affected. Goodna underwater. My aunts house was devastated. She lost everything.

Thursday 13th - Flooding in Brisbane. Work went under. Was all pretty devastating.

Friday 14th - Went into work and cleaned. Weekend was spent doing similar.

zaffnews.com

Inspiration - AJ Celi, gorgeous and 30, she looks gorgeous, put together and like an 'adult'

nbaloud.com

Alyssa Milano - another 'put together' 30 year old. 

Go on...I dare YOU!!

prevention.com

OK so the challenge we have set ourselves for the year is......5,000km's by either bike or treadmill. This will equate to about 14kms per day. So this will be from tomorrow. I have actually divided it up a bit, going for 50km for the first week and slowly working up to 120kms per week to fit it in, plus take into account my fitness level. The plan is that by the time we head to New Zealand at the end of the year that I am fit enough to walk up to the glaciers. 

At the moment I struggle walking up stairs so it will be pretty cool. I will be going back to low carb from tomorrow to try to shift some weight fast, but my focus is going to be on healthy eating and fitness. Once I have that sorted the weight should go down. I am booked in for the doctor on Thursday to go back on the pill. I know that this is counter productive to having babies, but I gather 6 months on it, my cycle is back to normal, hormones will be back to normal and the weight should stabilize. so fingers crossed it works to plan. 

My next thing is that in a few days I will be 28. 28 is my adult number. No longer a young 20, I am inching towards 30. And there is a lot I want to achieve before I am 30.

I have a lot of inspiration, and am thinking I want to have a vision board up in the office in the next few weeks. But here is my list...keep in mind I have 2 years before I am 30.

1. Look sophisticated and put together

2. Be healthy and at a healthy weight

3. Be buying a house with my hubby

4. Have started our family

5. Be set in a career. Working towards my degree

These are my main goals. This in my mind says I am 'on my way'.

So far meh!

I really hate to say this but sometimes I really get over my husband. I love him to bits but his moods are rediculous. And I don't say this believing I am perfect, or with out just a thin thought of it. When we have a house full of people tip-toeing around because he's in a mood over fuck all, there is a problem. His mother left a few days a go and let him know that he is too much like his father. I thought that maybe it had sunk in, but every day we are having the same issue. Him all of a sudden in a foul mood over the stupidest of things. New Years day is was because his shoulder was sore, so the world copped it. Yesterday who knows why, today because he feel shit about the house, so everyone else has to feel like shit. Its really not fair, and not fair that we have to live like this. I hate the fact that he has bipolar and he uses it as an excuse. I hate that he goes to see a counsellor and doesnt like that they tell him that he is being irrational, so he won't go back. I hate that he thinks its ok to keep going like this. Telling me every few weeks that he knows he fucks up but promises to fix it, then never does. Each time saying it will be different. Don't get me wrong, my husband can be fantastic, super fun and very loving. But I am sick to death of these moods. I hate having to worry about what he is going to say and who he is going to offend. let alone just having to live with it. He makes me feel like crap. His tirade this morning was the kitchen, he wanted it spotless. So he got in and did it. He then told me that he is taking over keeping the kitchen clean because he wants it perfect. This is the same man who will leave half eaten food, crumbs, dirty dishes anywhere he eats (and he eats anywhere) until I get the shits and eventually pick them up. He then goes on about other things that are dirty. He doesnt do any washing, cleans up only when it a spit or if I nag. And then has days like this. Im just over his drama and I dont know how to get him to snap out of it. He is so judgemental, narrow minded and just rude, and its starting to really piss me off.