The World is the cruelest thing

So follow on from my post about the two week wait...I am now at day 36.

Now don't get too excited...Any normal person would be getting excited about this. Yeah but not me. I get a feeling of dread.

Ok so lets look at the symptoms I am experiencing:

No Period
Sore Breasts
Complete exhaustion, Im talking a weekend of not much else but sleep
Nausea every morning, and well afternoons also and evenings

So 4 pretty big ones....but guess what...Welcome to PCOS.

It SUX!

I get it, I understand it does this to me, but there will always be a small part of me (hey even big part of me) that holds out, hoping that I am pregnant. But I know that without fail, I take a pregnancy test and then either that afternoon or the next morning Aunt Flo comes knocking.

I don't understand, why does the universe have to be so cruel? I'm sitting here literally trying to swallow the ick from my throat, feeling the nausea creeping up, and just know that its nothing. Well nothing that turns into a baby anyway. I think I could handle the stress of not conceiving if I didnt have a constant reminder every couple of months of what its like to feel pregnant and to go through that week or two wondering 'what if'. And I know most would say just take a test, just to make sure. But honestly its more heartbreaking seeing a lil single line, than it is to find out Aunt Flo arrived.

till next time
moby