Ive been slack

Its been a fortnight or so since I last posted...things have been stressful.

So I am back at uni since the end of November, about the same time as my parents and sister moved in. eeek. Things are going ok so far, but its hard not to notice how terribly he treats them. Its super sad but super true. Its also quite obvious that he is more than content to live wherever and let mum pay the bills out of her carers allowance and drink all day and tinker down at his shed. I am at that stage where I dont say anything. After all these years she has stayed married to him, her choice. But its definitely not the life I expected from her. It makes me appreciate my life so much more.

Hubby had his post op appointment this week. He is to have another operation in the new year. Hopefully that will be the last and he will be all healed. In the mean time we have to get as healthy as possible. He is also having issues at work, so Im a bit afraid that he will either lose his job, or he will get another and then lose it because he will have to go in for the operation.

My work is pretty precarious also. Im waiting for the day when I am told the doors will be closing, I don't think its too far away.

So a quick overview of the last few weeks. Life would be so much easier if only........

Fears

There are many things I fear in this world, some rational, some very irational, but I have had to face many in 2010.

Some of my fears
1. Losing my husband
2. Losing my sister/mum
3. Being poor
4. Being homeless
5. Living with my folks again.

My husband and I have been close to splitting a few times, but over the last year we seem to have welded ourselves together much more firmly. So I feel quite content.

We came very close to losing my sister in June. She broke her neck during an epileptic seizure. The broken neck was left undiagnosed for 4 days by  our hospital and was picked up by our local GP. He is our angel.

In February the Insulation scheme in Australia went bust. Both hubby and I  and my family were involved. We were left with nothing at a moments notice. We were without jobs for 6 weeks and came very close to not being able to afford to pay our rent or buy food. It is nearing Christmas and we are only just getting on top of everything now. I NEVER want to be back in that position. This time last year we had a few thousand tucked away, bills paid without thinking, they just came out of our account, and we were quite content about going into xmas. This year we live week to week and are scared stiff that we wont be able to afford it. But such is life, we have a roof over our heads.

And to top all this off, my folks are moving in with us on Saturday. Dont get me wrong, I love my mum to bits, but my dad is an alcoholic and we clash big time. I have very definite ideas on how he should treat my mum, unfortunately he doesnt agree. So it will be a big learning experience in patience. That and hoping that we use the opportunity to save money and that they get back on their feet sooner rather than later.

eek

Getting healthy

noodlepadoodle.com

I have my appointment with my gyno tomorrow. I have failed to lose weight (I gained 7kg) and I am really unhealthy. I have been following a lady on twitter who has done a detox for the last week or so and is doing quite well. It's time I did another. It has been probably about 4-5 years since I have done a proper cleanse. I keep wanting to but never really follow it through. I am super unhealthy, living on pain killer and have to break this cycle. I will be doing fruit, veg, nuts and leave white meats. I am hauling D in for the ride. Thankfully we freakin get paid tonite. 

On the home front, I rehomed my beautiful Bella last night. 

We had to get rid of her friend a few weeks ago as he kept digging and we are in a rental house. Since then she has become lonely and moping. She unfortunately also decided she was going to attack small animals. Since we are about to start fertility treatments we realised a. we dont have the time she needs, and b. do we want her around a baby. We have been keeping her inside so honestly it was time for her to be placed somewhere else. We found a wonderful lady who had a 1 year old boy who needed a friend. She is super wonderful with her boy, and I believe Belle is going to love her new home. Though this didnt stop me sobbing last night having to say goodbye. I am very very grateful to the wonderful lady for helping us, but feel a massive amount of guilt that I gave away my girl. 

Housewise, we are doing ok.Kitchen has been cleaned each night, and more and more crap is being put away. I am hoping to sort out the office this weekend, and that will be the last room done. From there it is just a matter of tidying each day, and doing a thorough, deep clean. I am hoping to do this over the next few weekends before xmas. This will be one less thing taking up my time and energy. 

Day 24/5 - A letter to my parents

Day 24 - A letter to my parents


I have avoided this one, cos its painful.

Dear Mum,
I love you. You are there when I need you, my best friend. You have laid the foundations of my life, my personality, and my morals. While I don't always agree with the choices you have made in life, I admire you for those choices. You have been strong when it has been needed, but loving and fragile when required. I will always look up to you, and be open with you. I will always appreciate you, and what you have done, and lean on you when I need strength. You are my angel, and I love you.

Kat

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

I married my husband after being engaged for 2 months and together 2 years. We have had some super rocky times, where honestly I didn't think we would make it, but this year we will be celebrating 3 years of marriage, and in 6 days, 5 years together. 5 is my magic number. No longer are we 'newly weds' or a 'young' couple, we are committed, and a happily married 'old' couple. 

D and I have been through the wringers and back. After a world of lies and half truths, fights etc, we found out that D has bi-polar. I know that this is not an excuse, but it was because of this diagnosis that we were able to get help, and learn to deal with what this metal health issue threw at us. Life can be rocky, and it can be frustrating, but I cant imagine my life without him. And honestly there are days that he frustrates me so badly that I am ready to just bite him...lol. It is definitely a learning experience. Together we have fun, he has taught me that life is to enjoy, that I dont need to be the serious one. He has taught me that there is something so much better than the fairy tales. Together him and I can conquer the world, we can follow our dreams, and we will always have that person by our side to fall back on and I cant think of a better man to spend my life with. 

The other thing that I gained with D was his name.I know this is a bit odd for me to make a point of, but its something that I never truly had. I was named at birth with my mother's maiden name, at 12, my father decided I was to have his, so I was to drop my original last name. Then at 15 I decided that I should not have been made to change without my input and hyphenated it. Then when I was 18, legally I had to revert to my mothers maiden name (she never got around to legally changing it). For so many years my name kept changing, it was never mine, I had no link to it, no ownership. Then I married D. No longer was my name changed to whatever someone felt like, I was Mrs S. It is mine, no one can take it from me, that is my name. And as I have told D, if for any reason we divorce, I will remain Ms S. Its my freaking name, I worked hard for it, Its mine!

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them


I have many, with a name like Katrina, well theres lots of derivatives. 
Kat
Trina
Trini
Kitty
Kitty-Kat
Tri
Lee (my middle name. I once worked in a callcentre with another Katrina, we couldnt both be Katrina so they called me by my middle name. She left after a few months, but Lee stuck around for 6 or 7 years)
Little Lee - (Im only 5"2)
Bubby (from hubby)
Bublet (again husband)
pookie (again..)
and what ever other corny think he can come up with. 


My favourites are probably Kat, Kitty or Tri. I love Tri cos it makes me feel closer to nature...haha


At work there is another Katrina (yep there seems to be lots of us) so Im called Trina, meh...its ok

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have


I have lots of plans, lots of dreams and so many goals and probably too many to list here. 


1. Have my family. I want at least 2 children
2. Have security for my family. This is my most important thing. 
3. Be able to work from home. 
4. Be fit and healthy (probably more a 3 than a 4)
5. Get portraits done of me and hubby
6. I want to own a big big home. I dont want a new one, I want an old one. Something that I can really sink my teeth into and refurbish myself. Decorating from the yard, the floor to the attic. 

Probably more the bottom one, but just not so broken. 

Day 17 of 30

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why


Ok, hard one! all I can really think of is someone with money...lol. There are many people that I admire, many that I would like to emulate, but except for celebrities, I dont know. So I'm going to do the bad thing and put down a celebrity.

Tori Spelling

I adore Tori Spelling, I know that many do not. But my reasons are many. Firstly, she built her life back up from nothing. She hit rock bottom, spent all of her money, and then used her experience to build back up a life and income for her family. 2, she is a mum. Im not talking the type that give birth,Im talking the type who actually parent and adore their children. Her family comes first and she makes sure the world and her kids know it. 3, she is not shy to tell the world that she struggles like everyone else, and not shy to say she is human. Ok so she has a reality television show...so what?!?! Her husband and herself do a great job showing that they work hard, do everything for their family and still can be successful. 

So yes, I want to spend a day being Tori Spelling, then I can make some contacts and make my family just 

as successful as hers.

Day something...A Pic of my family

Ok, well its not all of my family, but its my lil sis (C) and my husband. I am in the middle. This is one of my favourites. I am about 23 in this pic, and it was not long after I moved in with D. Our first family reunion. It really tells all about the relationship the three of us have. My hubby loves to pick on lil sis, but they get along wonderfully. Right now they are actually watching a movie together. He taunts her and drives her nuts, but they love each other to bits..and I'm pretty stoked that they do. C and I are super close, she is my only sibling. I cant imagine living without her close by.

Day 9-12

Following on
Day 9 - Something that I am proud of this week


I am super proud of my hubby. Above it the logo of his campaign for safer cycling, url is safecyclingaustralia.org. He is campaigning for a minimum of 1 metre distance between cars and bicycles while overtaking. He is working so hard, and doing so well. I am so super super in love with him....

Day 10 - Songs I listen to when....(insert emotion)

This is honestly a tricky one. I love all sorts of music and will listen to whatever whenever. I do prefers Norah Jones, Missy Higgins, Jewel, Laura Marling, Angus and Julie Stone to sing along too, and 80s love ballads to drive to, but Im happy with anything.

Day 11 - Pic of me and friends

Ill pass on this one

Day 12 - How did you find out about blogging...why do you do it?

I honestly cant remember where I found out about it. I have always written a journal, and only recently found one from when I was 11, so this was the natural progression. I do still keep a journal though.

Through blogging I want to enhance my writing skills, use it as an outlet, and find and share some interesting ideas. I also want to learn more about blogs and websites. Eventually use my skills to find something I am good enough at to make some money from. (No I do not expect to make any money from this blog)

I have just found CNN's ireport bootcamp, hopefully that will help fine tune some skills.

Day 6-8

Ok so Ive been slack, I blame my gorgeous hubby and his campaigning. I have not had access to a comp for awhile. Well not long enough to do some posting.
So onto Day 6
My favorite Superhero...why?
Well I think its pretty self explanatory from the name of my blog
Picture is from sodahead.com

I want to be Superwoman. I think its the Capricorn in me, the perfectionist. I want it all. I want the perfect home, my gorgeous hubby, kiddies and a great job. I want people to look at me and want what I have. I grew up with nothing, I had people thinking I had the 'perfect' family, but it masked what was really underneath. I want to create it now.
Day 7 - The person/ thing that has the biggest impact on my life.
This is a bit of an out there one for me. Growing up I lived with a non practising catholic family, who I can honestly say never really looked outside the norm, well except for Aliens. (my mum was obsessed thanks to Xfiles). But I for some reason found this liking of Buddha and what he represented. By no means was I ever as disciplined as his followers, but it struck a chord. Because of him, I learnt to not  go with the flow, but to make my own path. Yes it is rocky, I make lots of mistakes, but they are of my choosing.
pic by mobileappy.com

Day 8 - Short Term goals for the month - why

Ok, well this is a pretty easy one, my goals for October....(might I just say Im a list/goal maker, I redo them daily)

1. Gym/Exercise 3 x per week

2.  Not buy takeaway more than 3 x for dinners

3. Eat at the kitchen table

As you can probably tell, my life revolves around losing weight. I need to, Im in baby making mode. I need all the help I can get!

Well thats the end of 3 days...see you in a few more