Day 11 - A letter of Appreciation

To my darling hubby,

There is so much about you I absolutely love and adore. So many things that you do, from the very little to the massive things that I appreciate so very much.

When I first met you, you made me smile and laugh, and changed my world, I am such a different person to who I would have been without you.

....

haha yeah right, Im not putting this all here

seeya!!!!

Day 9 - Tackle Procrastination

1. Identify something you’ve been putting off in the past week/month/years.
   • I have been procrastinating about losing weight, for the last few years
2. Answer this question: Why am I procrastinating on this?
• Why do I procrastinate about this? Its too hard....Im trying to find the easy way out instead of putting the effort into it, its something I do with everything

Key Motivations

Feel better about myself - feel alive again

Health

Baby

Marriage

Action Plan

Diet - Cut out the crap

Exercise - Walking - Bike

Character Board #30BBM Day 5

#30BBM Day 4

How did I go today? Did I do my random act of kindness..have u been sitting at the edge of your seat waiting to find out?

well I did...sort of.

There is a woman at work who irritates everyone, and most people ignore her. I made a point today to say hello and involve her in the conversations. Took the time out to really listen to what she had to say. Yes she frustrates people, but it didnt take much to listen.

#30BBM Day 4

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” – Plato
“Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.” – Lou Holtz
“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.” – The Knights of Pythagoras

On a scale of 1-10, how kind do you think you are?

On a scale of 1-10 I think Im probably a 7. I still need work, but I think I am mostly very kind. I go out of my way to help people, and make them feel better. I am happy to help someone cross a street, carry a bag, or help an old lady down the street, or simply offer a smile. There are days tho that Im not, and I am embarassed that I do have these days. 

Your Task: Be Kind Today

Imagine you’re standing before a room that’s bursting with warm, golden light. The light is so bright that you can see it bursting through every opening, every nook and cranny from inside the room to the world. It’s literally overpowering everything in your surroundings.

As you walk up to the door, you see the word “Kindness” written on it. This is when you realize this is a room filled with pure, sheer, unadulterated kind energy.

Your task today:

1. Step into the room.
   • Imagine yourself being basked, from head to toe, in the pure, kind energy. The light is so powerful that it penetrates into your body and reaches into the core of your heart.
   • As it does that, it somehow unlocks something inside you, deep in your soul. Suddenly, a strong beam of light starts to shine from inside your heart, first illuminating your whole body, and bursting into the world out there.
   • This occurs for a good 5-10 seconds, before the light fades away. You’re now radiating a positive glow; an luminescent aura that. There’s no doubt about it – you’re now a different person from before you stepped inside. You’re now filled with kindness, inside and out. Every fiber of your being, every cell in your body, is now filled with pure, kind energy.
2. Today, you are a beacon of kindness. Exemplify kindness in everything you do, every thought you have, every action you take. This means…
• Being kind to everyone you see.
• Going out of your usual zone to help others.
• Smiling at strangers, even they aren’t smiling at you first.
• Saying hi / Greeting everyone you see.
• Doing something special for someone / others, without reason.
• Loving others as if they were you.

Generally I am kind, I will smile at strangers, greet them hi if I catch their eye. Today I made the decision to liven up my new work group. They were very quiet and kept to themselves. I decided to create a nice atmosphere, and start getting some conversations happening, and just get everyone chatting. It was a success, I had a great day. Happily I did this before I read this post. So tomorrows mission, to keep this up, but find something nice to do for someone else :)

Grounding

I am struggling at the moment with a bit of the blues...I think all the stress lately with money, fertility, Granddad's op and the stuff with Dave has brought me down a little.

I need to get my feet in the ocean or my hands in the earth and draw a bit of energy. I am thinking of getting hubby to join me Friday arvo in Wynnum for some fish and chips near the ocean. But until then, here is a bit of a grounding exercise. Its amazing that I know when I need to get back to nature. I can feel when I havent grounded enough, when energy just isnt right. And even more amazing that we can live a lifestyle where our bare feet rarely touch the soil.

Notice the soles of your feet, your toes, in-between your toes, the top of your feet, the back of your ankle.

Do they feel hot? or cold? Do they hurt? Are they numb? Do you feel your blood circulating through them? Are they feeling tired?

Don't judge how they feel - just notice how they feel. Wiggle your toes. How does that feel?

Once you have a made a strong connection with your feet you may then move your attention upwards to your ankle... then switch focus to your lower legs, onto your knee caps, behind your knees, your thighs, and so on.

Keep reminding yourself not to rush.

Allow yourself to breathe throughout the scanning process, especially as you come to any areas of discomfort (stressed muscles, soreness, etc.) or at any spot that feels like there may be an energy block.

Once you have moved through your torso and up to your neck, drop back down to your fingertips, move your attention to the hands, up your arms and shoulders, returning your attention once again to your neck before finishing up with your focus on face and scalp. 

from about.co

#30BBM Day 3

Your Task: Identify Your Ideal Self

What is my ideal self like? 

Traits would I possess? I would be patient, caring, loving. Motivated and full of energy and life. I would be someone people liked being around. I would be fun loving, a little carefree, but still have everything done. I would be healthy and dedicated to creating a healthy life for me and my family, I would be DEDICATED. I would exude energy and light, and be like the perfect earth mother. 

I would be non-judgemental! accepting peoples personality and accepting that I deem as the right conduct in a situation is what "I" would like, not everyone. 

I would be elegant, well spoken (no f or c-bombs here my friend) and just a little bit funky, saying yes to the odd leather jacket and skin tight jeans. I would also be willing to drop all the graces for a day of fun with hubby camping, hiking, or trailbike riding. 

Gosh I think I want to much. I think mainly I want to be the best person I can be, kind, generous and loving, but making sure I include me in all of that. 

I would rate this as a 10/10 for my ideal self. 

Small steps today that can work towards this.

Stop swearing. (that might just do me in)

learn to breathe, take my time, think about my reactions

enjoy a bit of life

#30BBM Day 2

Your Task: Understand Your Negative Traits

3 traits I really want to work on this month. 

 - Being Lazy  - Impatience  - Procrastination

I think I am lazy because I keep making plans and organise stuff and never follow through. I dont finish projects (well not all) and I have so many ideas constantly running through my head and no time to really devote to them. I spend so much time procrastinating and just feeling like I cant be bothered, that I dont get really far. This sort of ties in both laziness and procrastination. I really want to get into a routine and get things completed.

I want to change these traits because I dont want to keep having left over stuff hanging over my head. I also dont want to feel the failure constantly thinking 'if only I had done that'. 

My baby steps for the month. To finish a few projects. Finish mum paperwork, finalise at least one website, and stick to the 30 day program.

I think I am impatient because its more than apparent I am. I dont like dallying around, I like everything to run on time, and I dont like time wasters. This would all be fine if I expected the same from myself, unfortunately I dont. I also dont want to keep having these high expectations of people. Where it doesnt really affect me, I need to let go and just enjoy the ride.

My baby steps to combat this, is just remain open to the issue, and keep to my schedule. Ensure everyone has clear understanding of what I am wanting, and as long as it doesnt affect me negatively, just take a moment and breathe. 

#30BBM Day 1

ok so today is day 1 of the 30 days to Be a better me from The Excellence Blog. I absolutely love Celestine Chua's blog, and I think this could be a little interesting..so here goes:

If you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (in terms of your personality), how much would you rate yourself? Would you give yourself a 1? Would you give yourself a 10? A 3? A 5? A 7?

• Id give myself a 5

Why did you give yourself the score in Q1?

• I gave myself a 5 because I have learnt a lot over the last few years. I guess its from growing up but also from seeing traits in myself in others that I didnt like
• I still have  long way to go

Now, write down 5-7 traits about yourself you want to work on.

• Impatience. I am very impatient, I expect things to be done on my time
• I procrastinate. I never want to do the hard work
• I always look for the easy way out, this is no longer acceptable to me, I want things done properly
• I can be lazy, another unacceptable trait
• I want to be able to control my emotions better
• I dont want to feel weak anymore. this is a confidence thing. 
• I let people intimidate me...I dont want anyone to intimidate me. I need to learn to be strong when I am uncomfortable
• I whine...stop whining!!

Day 1 Reflection for 30BBM

For each 30BBM task, we’ll have a quick reflection session. This is to identify and collect our learnings and reflections, rather than just do the task for the sake of doing it.

Things I learnt today - that Im a sucker, but I do love my hubby. I have days where I think, why the hell do I do this, but theres days like today that I know why. It so many ways I am so strong, and I love that strength. I love that I am willing to take on the world when I need to, and I love that I will fight for what I want, and for the people I love. I also learnt today that I whinge too much...hmm suck it up bucko!

Aspergers - BiPolar

thoughts??

We are starting to lean towards Aspergers...it's all starting to drive us both nuts. We want a real diagnosis, concrete treatment path and how we are to move forward.

A few years ago after a crisis, D and I went to the doc asking for help. He jumped on a mental health website, did a bit of research and wondered if he had Bi-Polar, the pysch said yep, sounds good, thats it. Well honestly after 4 years, we beg to differ. It all doesnt add up. I love my hubby, but there are things that just aren't quite right. Things I take for granted as being 'normal' and what people should be doing, he just doesnt get. Social 'Norms' mean nothing in my household. Spoke to his mum today to get a background on his childhood, and it is looking more and more likely that we are looking at Aspergers. So next on our agenda...learning more..