Eclipse

ahhh Eclipse...I am going to see it tomorrow night. I have sat down to watch New Moon, and ready to read it again (all a refresher...). YES!!! I admit it!!! Im a Twilight Freak....oh how I love the Twilight Saga. Oh and on the 26th was the lunar eclipse...my photo is pretty crap, but I was so excited about it. So the last 2 weeks have been really crap. My sister had a epileptic seizure 2 weeks ago today, went to hospital, and sent home with sprained neck. She was told to apply hot and cold packs and massage. After 3 days, still just as bad, mum took her up to see her GP. He sent her for scans, only to find she had 3 fractured verterbrae...yep she has a broken neck!! So after a few days on a spinal bed, not allowed to move, they put her into a halo brace. Its been more than a lil scary, exhausting and emotional!!  I am very happy to say she is back home after a week in hospital, and doing well. But its given me alot of time to site and think about things. 1. If it was me in that position, it would be hell. Im too big to be able to deal with it all. I dont have the flexibilty anymore, and it puts way too much pressure on my hips if I lay on my sides for too long, and I cant sleep on my back cos my b00bies are too heavy. So I am adamant I need to get this weight off. 2. I want to do something more than just go to work each day, I want something more to life. 3. I need money put aside. We were pretty skint this last week, which makes living at a hospital a lil hard. Constantly having to buy food, pay for parking, and keep entertained..I need an emergency fund. 4. (which I already knew) my lil sister means the world to me. I cannot put into words how hard it was seeing her like she was, or even how she is now. And to think that we could have lost her, it brings me to tears even thinking about it. I am so happy, and thankful that she has come out of this with no spinal damage or nerve damage. She has broken her C2, C3 and C7 vertebrae...she definitely did a good job.

So yes, to this week. Wattle is now flowering, so asthma and allergies have flared up. I have spent the last few days a big ball of snot and wheezy, oh Im soooo sexy!!! But hopefully on the mend shortly.

D and I have been chatting about our weight, his is going down, mine is going up. Im feeling more like a hypocrite at the moment. I have such strong ideas/ideals how I think kids should be bought up food wise, but I eat opposingly. I dont want our kids having any processed foods, yet Im living on takeout and milk coffee. I need to fix this

A long weekend

In 30 mins begins the day that we celebrate the Queen's birthday in Queensland, and it brings me to the thought 'what do I do each year to celebrate my birthday?'. So I have been on the interweb, looking at other ppl's blogs and ideas. So what have I come up with?

I want to set up a tradition..something to do each year to mark the event and make it special.
  - head to get a mani and pedi
 - run a bubbly bath, light the room with candles and a poor a glass of bubbly and put on my special face mask.
 - relax and unwind while listening to my fav CD of the moment. ( possibly bought that day)
 - get out of the bath and curl up in my robe, and write myself a letter. Write down everything I have accomplished in the year, what I am grateful for, and what I love about my world. No goals or plans, Just a lovely letter to mark off my year. Then put in my memory box, and take out last years letter, and read it.
(I got this idea from ...http://neworderorg.blogspot.com/) I expanded a little, but u get the idea.

In my family we always have a family dinner, but I want to do something else to make it a bit more special....ideas are welcome.

So much closer to nowhere

So, months have passed and we are a lil closer I guess to our babies. I had the specialist last month and am now on meds to help with the PCOS. They have made me feel pretty ill, and I havent really lost any weight, but I am noticing a difference in my eating. I am no longer constantly hungry, and can wake up and not b craving sugar, so fingers crossed, in the next 6 months I start noticing a big difference.

In other stuff, life has been chaotic. Foster training has been put off for a month, Hubby's dad came to celebrate his 38th bday with him, and its nearly tax time, so work is crap. Money is super tight still, and im wishing that the money fairy would smile our way for a bit. On the bright side, ive found Tori n Dean, so my life is complete for awhile.... Tehehe. He is just soooo sweet, and Tori is adorable! I need to write a book and become famous, then Hubby and I can b reality tv stars and I can give up work. Mayb it can b centred on our struggle to have a family, lose weight and finally be healthy. I doubt it would capture the worlds attention tho. I can dream a little tho...



- Blessed be
Moby xoxo

Babies....well my lack of one

I never knew how much it would affect me, seeing my last baby-less friend's little girl. I was so nervous going up to the hospital to see her, there was no reason to be. It might be hard to believe, but at 27 I am the last girl in my family (of baby making age) not to have a child, and there was only me and K left in in our group of friends. She was the girl that I went clubbing with, that I spent sleepless nights drinking, dancing and just acting the fool with, and the one I thought would be with me in the childless corner. Now don't get me wrong, I have been super excited for her during her pregnancy, and as supportive as possible with it all. But, when I first got the news that she was pregnant, I cried. How could this be happening? K was devastated she was pregnant, she was nervous about telling me, but I told her that this was a blessing. She would be a fantastic mum (which I still believe), and I told myself to get over it, and got excited about it all. But during the last few months, with two weeks of every month, getting sick as a dog, and hoping and praying for a lil test to show 2 lines, and a specialist appointment looming, its been getting harder. Id walk in to her nursery and a big part of me aches for this to be my turn. The night before I got the message that she had had the baby I couldnt sleep. I went out to Dave at one stage, close to tears, I was now going to be alone, my friend would never be the same. No longer would I have the carefree K, the one who would sit and smoke, and be childless like me, she would soon have the responsibilities of being a mum, and would now be one of 'them'. She would have her birth and pregnancy stories to tell, she would have all the sleepless nights, the babies firsts, and the baby to hold in her arms. She would be that special person to a lil girl, she would be her Mum. So finally after a sleepless night, I got to work in the morning, and got a message on my phone that she had gone into labour the night before, and had had baby. I was excited, firstly and foremost, I was excited and wanted to hug both mum and dad and give my best wishes, after all what a miracle and honestly at that stage, nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that I wasn't pregnant, it didn't matter that we have no children, I was just excited. I couldn't wait to see both baby and K. When it got time to go to the hospital, I was so nervous. I felt sick to the stomach and had the sherbet feeling in my back, which of course went away as soon as I saw them both. I stayed for a few hours, so excited and absolutely adoring watching doting dad and proud mum, and loving the snuggles with the not so little, little girl. But then I left for home. I wanted to cry so much. Why is this the way it is? Y am I spending so much time struggling for a child, when I want one so badly? Y do all the people who don't deserve children have them so easily? But I realise now, that every now and then, you see a baby who wasn't originally wanted, but once born will be so loved, so adored, and the centre of the universe for one loving couple, and it makes it all hurt just that little bit less.

Twas the night before easter....

And all that could be heard is D's snoring. Lol yep, he got to sleep before me. Itsnot so bad, I can sleep through his snores, he has to wear earplugs though :$

So we had a bad day today, 3 lots of maccas and $70 later, I feel like crap. And no, I'm not surprised!! I had a noteworthy realisation today tho. D was talking about how in 20 years we'll just be eating grey sludge that they have flavored, and I realised thats pretty much what we eat now. The difference being that the try to make it resemble stuff thats appealinf. There is nothing real about our foods anymore!!!!


- Blessed be
Moby xoxo

A new day

So I start my new job today, at a designers of womens clothing. So here I am surrounded by vety thin, artsy pretty people and the first thing I do is spill coffee on my white shirt..grrr. But Im here earlier than my teacher for the next few days, so I'm killing time. I started thinking about how today is a new start, and what I need a new start from. Well lets see, Im in need of losing quite a lot of weight, my skin is terrible, my diet is tertible, and as a friend affectionately says, my house is always in need of a clean. So where did I start to go wrong? Up until I was around 22, I was a healthy 12-14, I ate well, I exercised, and I was fanatical about having a clean home. Where did I lose all my motivation?? I can pinpoint that it all started when I got back from the states in 04, and it was caused by depression, but surely I havent been depressed for 5 years.... How do I get my mojo back?


- Blessed be
Moby xoxo

Unemployed and depressed

So its been awhile. The government pulled the insulation scheme so as of friday, the week before last, hubby and I are unemployed. It is one of the worst feelings. There is no stability and once our money runs out, I have no idea how we will pay rent. I have been for stacks of interviews, and I am crossing my fingers that one comes through shortly. Hubby on the otherhand is not doing so well. He is struggling to even get an acknowledgement (ignore my spellung pls) to his applications. Its such a tough world out there now for jobseekers. We had this grand plan to go to cleaning if we didnt have anything by tomorrow, yet the only cleaning position requires u to wait two months for payment. Hello Im desperate here!!! On the bright side I did get an interview for government temp work, only issue is that it means a pay cut of around $25K per year.... That so sux. So enuff of the whinging. Hubby and I are surprisingly good at home together. The house is staying fairly clean, and I have time for uni. Now all I need is a lil motivation to drop a few kg's.



- Blessed be
Moby xoxo