#30BBM Day 1

ok so today is day 1 of the 30 days to Be a better me from The Excellence Blog. I absolutely love Celestine Chua's blog, and I think this could be a little interesting..so here goes:

If you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (in terms of your personality), how much would you rate yourself? Would you give yourself a 1? Would you give yourself a 10? A 3? A 5? A 7?

• Id give myself a 5

Why did you give yourself the score in Q1?

• I gave myself a 5 because I have learnt a lot over the last few years. I guess its from growing up but also from seeing traits in myself in others that I didnt like
• I still have  long way to go

Now, write down 5-7 traits about yourself you want to work on.

• Impatience. I am very impatient, I expect things to be done on my time
• I procrastinate. I never want to do the hard work
• I always look for the easy way out, this is no longer acceptable to me, I want things done properly
• I can be lazy, another unacceptable trait
• I want to be able to control my emotions better
• I dont want to feel weak anymore. this is a confidence thing. 
• I let people intimidate me...I dont want anyone to intimidate me. I need to learn to be strong when I am uncomfortable
• I whine...stop whining!!

Day 1 Reflection for 30BBM

For each 30BBM task, we’ll have a quick reflection session. This is to identify and collect our learnings and reflections, rather than just do the task for the sake of doing it.

Things I learnt today - that Im a sucker, but I do love my hubby. I have days where I think, why the hell do I do this, but theres days like today that I know why. It so many ways I am so strong, and I love that strength. I love that I am willing to take on the world when I need to, and I love that I will fight for what I want, and for the people I love. I also learnt today that I whinge too much...hmm suck it up bucko!

Aspergers - BiPolar

thoughts??

We are starting to lean towards Aspergers...it's all starting to drive us both nuts. We want a real diagnosis, concrete treatment path and how we are to move forward.

A few years ago after a crisis, D and I went to the doc asking for help. He jumped on a mental health website, did a bit of research and wondered if he had Bi-Polar, the pysch said yep, sounds good, thats it. Well honestly after 4 years, we beg to differ. It all doesnt add up. I love my hubby, but there are things that just aren't quite right. Things I take for granted as being 'normal' and what people should be doing, he just doesnt get. Social 'Norms' mean nothing in my household. Spoke to his mum today to get a background on his childhood, and it is looking more and more likely that we are looking at Aspergers. So next on our agenda...learning more..

Friends, Loyalty and finally growing up

A good friend of mine just ended a bad relationship, and curiously her sister has remained friends with the ex, even going out to pubs with them. It has me thinking...Is this socially acceptable, Morally, or even against some code of sisterly conduct?

My lil sister and I are very close, there is no way I would ever show her this much disrespect, on the account of me wanting to have a good time. If I knew that my sister exaggerated a little, but it was still a volatile situation, lil sis still wins. So what has happened in this situation?

As a sister there is really no bond like it. I can fight with her, disagree, and debate to our hearts content, but we love each other. We have each others back and beware anyone who tries to hurt her.

Ok so this is my reasoning basically is disrepectful, its disloyal and frankly just plain wrong.

Ok so theres my completely crap post, completely unformatted, unedited and needing a whole lot more structure.

ciao

The Queensland Floods January 2011

While the last week has been one of the most harrowing for Queensland, it has also been one of the most incredible. Not in the 'ooh how cool' way, but just because its something that will leave a lasting impression for life.

Monday 10th, got home from work - heard about the devastation in Toowoomba, and inland flood surge destroyed streets and killed many people. We went and picked up my cousin and her kids from Karalee, we got a message that Karalee was to be evacuated.

Tuesday 11th - I stayed home. Gathered I wanted to know what was going to happen, we were expecting this water to travel to Ipswich. 

Wednesday 12th - Flooding in Ipswich was expected about 2pm. We were not affected. Goodna underwater. My aunts house was devastated. She lost everything.

Thursday 13th - Flooding in Brisbane. Work went under. Was all pretty devastating.

Friday 14th - Went into work and cleaned. Weekend was spent doing similar.

zaffnews.com

Inspiration - AJ Celi, gorgeous and 30, she looks gorgeous, put together and like an 'adult'

nbaloud.com

Alyssa Milano - another 'put together' 30 year old. 

Go on...I dare YOU!!

prevention.com

OK so the challenge we have set ourselves for the year is......5,000km's by either bike or treadmill. This will equate to about 14kms per day. So this will be from tomorrow. I have actually divided it up a bit, going for 50km for the first week and slowly working up to 120kms per week to fit it in, plus take into account my fitness level. The plan is that by the time we head to New Zealand at the end of the year that I am fit enough to walk up to the glaciers. 

At the moment I struggle walking up stairs so it will be pretty cool. I will be going back to low carb from tomorrow to try to shift some weight fast, but my focus is going to be on healthy eating and fitness. Once I have that sorted the weight should go down. I am booked in for the doctor on Thursday to go back on the pill. I know that this is counter productive to having babies, but I gather 6 months on it, my cycle is back to normal, hormones will be back to normal and the weight should stabilize. so fingers crossed it works to plan. 

My next thing is that in a few days I will be 28. 28 is my adult number. No longer a young 20, I am inching towards 30. And there is a lot I want to achieve before I am 30.

I have a lot of inspiration, and am thinking I want to have a vision board up in the office in the next few weeks. But here is my list...keep in mind I have 2 years before I am 30.

1. Look sophisticated and put together

2. Be healthy and at a healthy weight

3. Be buying a house with my hubby

4. Have started our family

5. Be set in a career. Working towards my degree

These are my main goals. This in my mind says I am 'on my way'.

So far meh!

I really hate to say this but sometimes I really get over my husband. I love him to bits but his moods are rediculous. And I don't say this believing I am perfect, or with out just a thin thought of it. When we have a house full of people tip-toeing around because he's in a mood over fuck all, there is a problem. His mother left a few days a go and let him know that he is too much like his father. I thought that maybe it had sunk in, but every day we are having the same issue. Him all of a sudden in a foul mood over the stupidest of things. New Years day is was because his shoulder was sore, so the world copped it. Yesterday who knows why, today because he feel shit about the house, so everyone else has to feel like shit. Its really not fair, and not fair that we have to live like this. I hate the fact that he has bipolar and he uses it as an excuse. I hate that he goes to see a counsellor and doesnt like that they tell him that he is being irrational, so he won't go back. I hate that he thinks its ok to keep going like this. Telling me every few weeks that he knows he fucks up but promises to fix it, then never does. Each time saying it will be different. Don't get me wrong, my husband can be fantastic, super fun and very loving. But I am sick to death of these moods. I hate having to worry about what he is going to say and who he is going to offend. let alone just having to live with it. He makes me feel like crap. His tirade this morning was the kitchen, he wanted it spotless. So he got in and did it. He then told me that he is taking over keeping the kitchen clean because he wants it perfect. This is the same man who will leave half eaten food, crumbs, dirty dishes anywhere he eats (and he eats anywhere) until I get the shits and eventually pick them up. He then goes on about other things that are dirty. He doesnt do any washing, cleans up only when it a spit or if I nag. And then has days like this. Im just over his drama and I dont know how to get him to snap out of it. He is so judgemental, narrow minded and just rude, and its starting to really piss me off.